I am back in the shadows, standing still as usual. On the outskirts of the dancing people and, in my own skirts that flow, burgundy wine in a crystalline glass that allures and detracts blame from the eye. And not many eyes do wander so far as to catch, in the corner, a glimpse of a girl so lost and tired, young and awkward. When his eyes meet mine I think, perhaps this is my story, my day (or night) to carpe diem.
But when he comes near it is nothingness that I feel. Only illicit breath on my neck and from that, the guilt ****** as hairs stand on edge. I do not want this now, shocking, I know. Scandalous, I think. It would be wrong to stop, where after all, do our tales come from? Our narratives, sewn and stitched to rich fabrics of our lives. How can I write about this without the experience of knowing it for myself?
I will detach myself and let it wash over, as his hands are on my waist and his cologne in my air, I think it must be like the sea, a salty traverse that washes away at shores edge. And I want to be a part of this oceans world with all I am to want. Music so ear-splitting I feel the ground pounding beneath me and the room inky-black murkiness that cannot be navigated, these factors must be what happened to my judgement
And when he is done I sink into the walls and wish to forget this; he leans forwards and whispers into my ear.