And now my heart has been 
torn 
from my chest and is 
pounding on this empty table before me. 

I watch as it slowly fades back to 
stillness 
and I wonder if I could have saved it. 

I wonder if I could have saved my 
sanity. 

I wonder a lot of things. 
Most of the time my mind is 
racing,  
retracing the steps I took to get here. 

I wonder what cracks I must have stepped 
on to send my world 
crumbling 
beneath my feet. 
I wonder what cracks I must have stepped 
on to create these 
fissures 
in my soul. 

And now I'm terrified 
that I will slowly leak from this 
chasm 
the same way this water runs 
in ripples down the hill outside my window. 

I wonder what I could have done 
to keep from 
falling 
to the floor.