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Madison A Sep 2014
Maybe it's the whiskey or
maybe it's just me.

I want to be in another world
away from all this petty ****.
I want to be alone with this cigarette
away from all this talk.
Away from all these thieves.

Thieves of my solitude, thieves
of my mind.
You've stolen my sense of me.

I have been robbed of my sanity
by the fools of this place.
Not this city, not this state.
I have been robbed of me.

I cannot find peace in this god forsaken place.
I cannot breathe.
This cigarette doesn't help, but this
is all I have.
The whiskey and this cigarette.
My lungs full of glee.

Maybe it's the whiskey.
But really, it's just me.
Madison A Jun 2013
I saw the rain coming,
and I knew you were leaving.
But I still feel the weight of the world
heavy on my heart.
My pulse beats hard in my throat,
and I know it will never be the same.
It will beat forevermore with a reminiscence of how gently and blindly you touched it.
Time will continue to pass.
And I will taste your name with each breath I take.
The seasons will continue to change.
And I will wake each morning to the sight of your absence.
Life will continue on in your wake.
And the weight of the world will remain
heavy on my heart.
Madison A May 2013
I want to live
above time.
I want to live
without reason and without expectation.
I want no standards or plans.
I want to live
anomalously.
I want to forget the past
and forget the future.
I want to discover.
Not land, not equations,
not anything of the sort.
I want to discover me.
I want to discover the unknown.
I want to discover you.
Madison A May 2013
There are some wounds so deep,
some wounds so irreparable,
that they cannot be cured.

These are wounds inflicted upon the heart.
These are wounds inflicted upon the mind.
These are wounds inflicted upon the soul.

These wounds are like a terminal illness.
They are like an incurable disease.
They make you a ***** within humanity.
They isolate you and destroy you.

This disease is initiated by the deterioration
of the mind through the realization that this
is an unnatural, man made, test tube and wired reality.
This is all wrong.
We are all wrong.

It is catalyzed by the deterioration of the heart,
once having experienced the pure cruelty of humanity.
It unveils the fantastic false creation of love and the mere
idea that people have ever given a **** about you.
It exposes the destructive outcome of hoping for
anything beyond your own control.

It is completed by the deterioration of the soul.
A lengthy but significant process that rids you
of your motivation to open your eyes to the
blank ceiling above you every morning.
It strips you of your ability to feel.
And, suddenly, you have lost your desire to wake.

These wounds…they are a terminal illness.
They are an incurable disease.
They are irreparable.
They are unyielding.
They are permanent.

And they are destroying me.
Madison A May 2013
When does one begin to feel again?
When does one stop feeling to begin with?
An end brings with it a new beginning,
as a new beginning will at some time end.
So, what is the point of it all, if we're being frank?
Quite frankly, I’m beginning to think there was never
any point to begin with at at all.
Madison A May 2013
We build expectations.
These expectations only set us up for disappointment.
Thereafter, we search for reason.
Yet, there is never reason.
That’s okay, though, because reason isn’t enough.
We really only want truth.
But truth is only what you allow it to be.
So what are we really searching for after all?
Madison A May 2013
There comes a time when it is necessary to leave your own reality.
It becomes essential to escape your thoughts and enter the mind of another.
There comes a time when a book is all that will suffice.
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