I was a dad for today.
But my baby's gone away.
Here for a moment,
Gone in an instant.
Not sad or depressed,
Mad or upset.
Just little bit empty.
Cause I wanted a kid see.

It's been 2 weeks,
Since that first verse.
My emotions have changed,
The tables reversed.
I'm sad and depressed,
I'm a big ******* mess.
I thought I was empty
But I was full of envy.

Envious of those
who have what I lost,
Envious of those
who have been better off.
Convincing myself
That the **** I was feeling,
Should be pushed to the back
Instead of just dealing.

I've lost too many,
I've been through this enough.
Just give me a break for one ******* day.
Daniel, Simon, Jazmyn, Tink,
Ray, Maddie and now my child.
Why me? Why this? Why now?
Can't you see I'm already down
Down in that hole with no escape.

The only escape to change my fate.
Change the rules it's not too late.
I keep pushing it down
But I should be raising it up.
Giving it to people and sharing my emotions.
There's no magic cure
There's no ******* potions.
It's **** and it's hard
But you just have to focus.

On the good in your life.
The beautiful people.
Katie, Justin, Milly, The cats
Tony, Hayley, Mum, Dad and the rest.
They are here, they haven't gone.
Stop clinging to what you had
And accept what you have.
How selfish to think.
It's all about me.

So I'm sorry to you all.
For not doing my best.
For letting my head be such a mess.
I'm trying I really am.
But this whole life just feels like a scam.
I'll be okay, just like always.
But somethings different nowadays.
Something broke and I don't know how to fix it.
I'm sorry.