My father taught me
A lot of things.

In my youth,

He taught me to care for myself
Before anyone else

He taught me that I am whole
That I am worth so much more
Than a compliment from a boy
With complicated feelings.

He taught me to fight
If I had too
To strike the thigh just so
And break his nose

How did he know it would be a he?
Why didn't he tell me?

As I grew and left his wing
He taught me more
But of life

He taught me that
The hand that feeds
Should be bitten,
if it beats.

He taught me that
He wouldn't be here forever
And I cried

He taught me that
I was strong enough to take them
(and if I wasn't, my mother would bury his body.)

He taught me that
He could cry too
When he and I realised we wouldn't be able
To just go a floor and bug the other

He taught me that
Human beings are difficult
But the relationships are worth it
When you both try

As I aged and graduated
He was caught between letting me go
And letting me hold on while I could

He taught me that
My mother wanted only the best for me
Even though I couldn't see it yet

He taught me that
They were growing older

He taught me that
Patience and consistency and effencicey
Is key when you want it

He taught me that
They were proud of me

He taught me that
Depression gets the best of us
Even though I remember him calling it
A cowards way out.

He taught me that
He loved me.
He loved me more than life itself.

He taught me that
While he couldn't fight my battles for me
He would fight my demons to the death
Whether they were human or imagination.

He taught me that
While I could obviously stand alone on my own
I didn't have too
And I didnt want too.

He taught me
I still didn't know
What I'd do when he was gone.