I said she was the best man I know
And she took offense,
As if I’d stolen her feminine mystique
I said I meant it metaphorically,
Like chess pieces, so I guess
You can be the queen

Then I said, Of all the people I’ve known
You’re the only one
Who doesn’t hate, envy, lie or cheat,
except at cards,
And since it’s all a game
Maybe I can be the king

She said, Be whatever you want,
Just pay the rent,
Don’t bite the hand that feeds
And keep yours out of the cookie jar
Because this ain’t no game
Unless you want to play the fool