I had a friend
No
I had a brother
Met him when I was about six or seven years old
And at this moment
I can say
That without a doubt
He is the most unluckiest ******* I ever met

Once we were walking in the playground
Him and another friend
We’re walking side by side
A bird flies over us
And ***** on my friend
That was my friend
My brother Alan
The unluckiest ******* I ever knew

His mother died of cancer when my friend was just two years old
Man what that would do to a child I can only imagine
Things like that
Like those kinds of experiences
They shape people's lives
And so it was for my friend
That for the rest of his life
His mother’s death haunted him
In some unsettling way

From an early age
He started abusing drugs
I know because I abused drugs with him
But drugs
for my friend
would go on to ruin his life
like so many addicts

When he was twenty five
His father died
Left him roughly a million dollars
At the time of his father’s death
He was addicted to ****
That drug took him for such a ride
He stopped communicating with the outside world
Cut everyone off
Family
friends
everyone
For months
No one could get a hold of him
Nothing
Someone had called the sheriff's out to the house
He wouldn’t open the door
There was nothing no one could do to get a hold of this guy
Until one day I decided that was it
I went to his house
Broke in through the garage window in broad daylight
The garage smelled like **** and something dead

The backdoor opens
And there he is
Standing there
Disheveled
Unshaven
unclean
Standing with this queer look on his face
What are you doing he asks me
I’ve come to see if you’re alive *******
What the ****

Inside the house
Inside the house was nothing like I had ever seen
There was trash everywhere
In almost every single place there was trash
All along the floorboards
throughout the kitchen
dining room
Living room
Trash on top of the dining room table
Fast food boxes
Bags
Wrappers crumpled up with days old melted cheese still clinging to it
Grease stained pizza boxes
The little Chinese take out boxes
The tiny metal handles showing signs of rust
And in the middle of the living room was the biggest heap trash I ever saw
with wads and wads of toilet paper
All of over the floor
An entire mound of it
The the product of endless nights of watching ****

I sat down
He offered me a beer
Little while later we smoked a bowl
I asked him why he wasn’t returning my calls
He tells me he’s been meaning to call me
And that was it
I pressed him no more
I didn’t know it then
But I know it now
I didn’t press the matter because my friend was suffering
He was suffering
A person living the way he was living
Addicted to ****
Disconnected from everyone
Family
Friends
Everyone except the drug dealer
That’s someone who’s suffering
And again a little of his mother followed him here

We talked of other times
Times like the present
Getting high
Drunk
And then that one instance that breaks the silence like none other
All the calm in the air
Gone
Like the wind was knocked out of the room
A knock at the door
We looked at each other
And then those words that one ever wants to hear

It’s the police, open up

*******
We look at each other
Did you call the police he asks me
No
Again a knock and the command
Alan walks to the door and opens it
Two police officers were standing there
A man and a women officer
They ask to come in
They say someone called of a break in
And that’s when everyone looks at me
I tell them I broke in
That it was me
That I broke it to see if he was alright

The woman officer walked around the living
She was visibly disturbed
She asks Alan how he could live like this
He doesn’t answer
The other officer began a kind of lecture
Alan just stood there
Nodding his head

Hey buddy, you can’t stop talking to people
You see your friend here
He cares about you

About that time there was another knock at the door
It’s the repo man
A man wearing a three piece suit
He’s come to get the truck parked in the garage
There hasn’t been a payment on it in months
Alan hands him the keys
He looks at me
Not mean or angry
But pleading for my help
Or maybe God
I don’t know

I stood there and watched this transpire
Watched the repo man drive off with the truck
Watched the officers leave
And then I watched my friend sit in his chair
Crying with his face buried in his hands
I’m sorry Alan
I don’t know how many times of said those words in my life
Too many I think

And that was my friend
All his life
Just like that
The most unluckiest ******* I ever knew