when i was younger
i believed
that if you believed in something
that it would happen

i spent
ninety percent of my time
believing with all my heart
that you would get better

so young and naive i was

forgiving the bruises and boyfriends
that would violate me at midnight

forgiving you
for leaving me alone
at the age of ten

to take care of a toddler
for
hours

in and out of rehab
as i moved in
with grandma

and i always believed

that you'd be better
when you came home