EAT AND BE EATEN
and eat again, and probably be eaten again, too.
AND. and! finally. not a choice, not a decision to be made incorrectly or regretfully.
i can eat. AND. i can be eaten.
no!
I WILL EAT AND I WILL BE EATEN.
there is something very satisfying about the prospect of "both"
i am not afraid of being eaten. i am afraid to eat.
but if the worst consequence of conquering my fear is not a fear at all, then who am i to not be a conqueror?
i can dismantle and overthrow, and build my new empire up from the very first stones.
first i must create. first i must write something that, like a flask full of sweet liquor, i can bathe in for courage when my feet start to tremble. i need to write like i drink: urgently, passionately, as if my happiness depends on it.
if i have a drinking problem, so be it!
as long as i also have a writing problem.
i will send my liver down the river in a basket if it means i can welcome creativity into its place.
i will. i will!
i dare someone to stop me.