I want to believe I haven't lost it
That THING
That thing that makes me feel like
im really doing something
Lile these aren't just words thrown together
Or intended to rhyme
Or too deliberately "deep"
But that thing that once you're done
You're proud. But not too proud.
It stands alone
Yet you always feel it's just a little unfinished.
But you dare not touch it.

I want to believe I still have that thing that's real
That I haven't let time and hardship harden a gift that was born in me once upon a time when I thought the world was a different place

A time that has begun to feel like someone else owned those thoughts
Lived the feelings that bore those inspirations
When those words came from the what ifs
And hubris
I want to believe that thing is still there
And still precious.
And while today it knows what life has carved me into
That it too was being carved
And can place these words together
In such a way that I know it's true
And its mine