oh, how much I feel

normally the emotions spew out of me uncontrollably
then again, there is the silence
a silence that makes me harsh where you once knew me as loving

my head always spirals until I run out of thoughts
my heart always hungers until I swallow my fervour
all followed by this numbness

you might ask me if I want you to be mine
and if I was honest -
I could tell you the first metallic sip of a beer brings me much more feeling than your lips on mine.

oh, how little I feel