The hot water
Wrinkles my fingertips
And stretches my hair
Down my back
In a red waterfall.

My knees are tucked
Up against
My chest.
The water
Turned to the hottest setting
So it’s still warm
When it reaches me
Down on the floor.

I close my eyes
And pretend
It’s washing off
Everything.

Every painful bruise
From my high school sweetheart.

Every time Dillon
Pushed my head down his body.

The hard grip
On my hand
That Matt had
As he placed my hand
On his *******.

The sloppy kisses
Eddy gave me
On his sunshine soaked
Bed.

The kiss on my neck
James left
Without warning
In a public place
Where I felt like I couldn’t
Be angry.

Rob’s hands
Never
Leaving
Me
Alone.

But most off all,
The body
Of the love of my life.
If that
Could wash off
I could pretend
I never
Risked him
For a moment of release.

The water
Drips down my forehead,
And my closed eyes,
Catching in my eyelashes.

I want to be clean.