I haven't felt the sun in over a decade
And I can't write to save my life
My grandmother is the only reason I stay
Too scared to see her decline,
Too selfish to give her my time
And every poison I intake
Will erase every mistake

It took me five years to cleanse myself
Of all the bile he delt;
I hope he goes to Hell

The big city spat him out,
There was so much of me
He never figured out

There was so much of you
I didn't deserve to know
But there's so much of me
I would never show

And him.
Oh god.
The way he lit my life inside
The way he cared.
I should have listened.
Would I want to die still?
Would I be a lifeless shell?
He's the only one I can't rhyme to.
He took my naivety and ran.

I'm supposed to never be alone
But I have only ever known loneliness.
Too fat for anyone to care.
My mother beat me and yelled everyday
Of my adolescence
My father bought my love
My brother never cared
My friends were fickle
My lovers where travesties

I don't know how the sun feels anymore
I don't know if dry land still itches
I don't know what a laugh is like
That isn't forced

I know how to fake it.
I know how to never ask for help.

And when I go down,
All of the ghost's you left me with
Will never be remembered.