As I force myself to sleep,
I want you.

I open my eyelids
and pretend that your head still rests on my chest,
your lips against my cheek
and
I want you.

I get up and chase my dreams away.

I dont want them.

I want you.

Its pouring down outside today
and on the pavement outside my place,
it says:
I wanted you

You'd slit my throat if I ever told you
and I am still in recovery from the last time
you did.

So I wont
and tomorrow,
I will want you again.


I will ignore the pavement.
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