I want to stop
I swear i will
I’ll put down the fork and spoon and I will be still

Leave me alone
Let me heal
But every time you try, you see, it’s not just food I steal

I steal happiness and memories and sleep
I steal all the smiles full of teeth and money you cant keep
Because we spent it all on hospital trips wondering why I cant eat

And they’ll give me medicine
And then the cycle will begin again

——-

When I was 16 I finally was fit
I could run and jump and sing until I made myself sick
It’s fine during the daytime when you see me standing tall
But at night i’d crumple and i’s fall
You don’t know what I hid inside my walls

Because I hid happineiss and memories and sleep
I hid  all the smiles full of teeth and money we couldent keep
Because we spent it all on hospital trips
Wondering why I can’t eat

And they’d give me medicine
And the cycle would begin again

————-

Now im almost 22 and I’ve destroyed my home
Muscles turn limp and my heart is stone cold
I only feel happiness with a mouth full of food

I know this cant be the life I choose
And i bit off more than I can chew
Maybe my lifes better without you

Because you aren’t happiness and memories and sleep
You aren’t smiles full of teeth but you gave me money that I still need
Because you aren’t perfect so why should I be

And i’ll take my medicine
But I won’t come home again
Because home isn’t giving in

And I’m so much more then when i eat