Since I don't know if we'll ever meet again-
I guess
that we'll try to stay together
forever.
"I'll tell you someday."
Laughing and sticking your tongue out,
teasing me,
you were the most beautiful then.
But-
When is that someday?
A link in the far distant future;
without any promise
or solidity.
Your back is growing fainter,
more distant,
vaguer,
quieter,
it's almost transparent now.
The fact that no matter how long my fingers were;
How much I grew;
How much I learned;
How much I matured-
The fact
that I could still not reach or touch you
or your standard;
I could do nothing
but slump to the floor,
Admit painful defeat-
And cry.
The Villain-
was me.
The one who ran away-
was me.
It was no lie,
For I am
the true deceiver.
And
I say to the plaster
peeling wall-
"I'm Sorry."
Uselessly,
Meaninglessly,
inutility,
I just sit there
in a wooden, peeling
chair;
Wondering.
*The Characters that I wrote then-
They don't dance for me anymore.*
"Is that so?"
*The poems that I scribbled-
on a napkin at a fast food restaurant,
Where are they now?*
"Who knows?"
*My memories and limits-
Are they gone?*
"Why don't you figure out yourself?
Isn't the person,
who knows you best-
yourself?"
--
--
--
I'm sorry-
My light was gone.
I'm Sorry-
My head wasn't thinking straight.
I'm Sorry-
I let go.
What kind of excuses are these?
For being a coward,
For being a shallow person
who didn't see the world-
Sorry doesn't even take up half of it.
The beginning of the end,
tell me,
when does that time come?
The promise that our naïve selves made together
"Forever, Eternally,"
You believed in those words.
For crushing your morals,
For mocking them,
For taking away your innocence-
"Forgive me."