This ocean no longer holds me.. These waters no longer keep me afloat.
I tremble at the reality I've avoided
Delusion never was the solution, yet I seemed to resort to it frequently
These waters, I knew, would someday swallow me whole
And I trembled in the fear of the unknown, the mystery of what lies beneath and within
The darkness
The depth
I did not wish to drown
But I yearned terribly to be hugged by the warmth...
The surface only ever enveloped me with its bitter feel of coldness
Why are you not warm?
Why must I drown to feel the comfort within you?
Why must I suffocate?
I yearn
I long
I tremble
Suffocating
Drowning
And there is no way to escape the entanglement that is you
There is no way to break through the bewitchment that you have inflicted
This ocean is no home to me
These waters were never meant to keep me afloat yet I did not hesitate to dive into you... to get lost in you, with you, and for you
I did not hesitate
And you reciprocated by the same amount of bravery
You hesitated not at sending me the wrath of your hallow
You hesitated not to leave me stranded on your most frightening nights
Isolating me…