i hate explaining what my depression feels like to other people
because i know they are trying to understand
but how do you explain something that you barely understand
that would be like asking a toddler to teach a calculus class

so here is my attempt at explaining my depression

i have good days and bad days
the good days are a lazy person's normal days
today was a good day
i did my hair and makeup
i went to all three of my classes
i ate lunch
i washed my dishes
i went to therapy
i took a nap
i watched youtube
i went to a friends to watch a movie
i ordered pizza
i did homework
i told myself good job after every single one of these things
i told myself i was proud and that i was doing amazing and that it is ok that everything is hard
but everyday i wake up is a step in the right direction
but not all days are good days
yesterday was a bad day
i got up late
went to class
then laid in bed from 9 until my friend came to my room and forced me to eat lunch at 2
then i got back in bed until he came back at 6 and held me while i cried
but bad days don't always look like that
sometimes a bad day is me starting at my bottle of pills and crying while my roomate is asleep