What am I here to do?

Confused by the aching pain in my chest
The disorder
The confusion
The intangible reality that presents itself to me

what do i choose?
how do i know if it’s the right choice?
what is the right choice
who am I?

This should not be so confusing

Should I do what’s best for me?
What about the repercussions
What about my family

What about love?

Love
Who knee it would chase me down
knock me off my feet
and rip the air from my lungs

Love hit me like a freight train
Do i get up and fight? Or do i just lie down and take it

Take it?
Take this pain
Take this emotion
Take this drive
Into the unknown?

Why is this so scary
I have never felt with this before
I’m so good at calming others
Helping others
Yet myself?
I know not where to begin

What is going on
Everything i once knew is uprooted from my imagination
My mindset
My focus
My determination
my
perspective

They’ve all shifted to accommodate a new possibility
New opportunity
New reality

Should I leave?
What am I doing here?
Was I really going to get where I thought I wanted to be
Am i settling?
Who am I
Do i like who I’m turning into?
who am I turning into
What will these decisions provoke

The real question is
Where do I go from here?