It's not fair, it isn't fair
But with such a heavy glance of despair
You break me you mold me
I can't help but hold an overwhelming love for thee.
My poetry isn't bland, simple, or plain.
It's beautiful, a mess, and all sounds the same.
I use the same pattern, beat, and rhymes,
Eventually it will be used one too many times.
I am fighting the urge to love you so pure
God help me I have a poison and you are the cure.
Ignore me, push away, leave me to a thought.
It makes me miss you so much that I rot.
I'm a tree in the wind, I push but do not break
Will loving you turn out to just be a mistake?
Sometimes it's perfect and you're my closest best friend,
Other times it's like it was all just pretend.
It's not fair for me to desire your full attention,
And the sorrow in my soul is beyond comprehension.
I will never forgive myself, and you shouldn't either
I understand you need a break, your heart needs a breather.
I feel so worn thin, so little butter over too much bread
These thoughts and emotions must get out of my head.
What do you want can't you make yourself clear
But please don't tell me it's what I fear.
It's a sick sort of enjoyment, I get from this life,
It's hard to accept you seeing anyone else as a wife.
But that's what it's come to and that's my fault too
I just hope she makes you happy and her love is true.
You told me have patience to see if it's in my favor
I know I've had inexcusable behavior.
You probably didn't see that it was about you and I,
Waiting to see what you choose makes me want to die.
The heaviest burden I ever have bore,
I'm so sorry for that time, your heart, I tore.
It makes me feel ill to think about my choice,
But you don't understand, he stole my voice.
I won't talk about him because he isn't what I want,
Will my choice forever be over me, a ghost that will haunt?
I'm so sorry my dear, I'm so sorry my precious love,
You always treated me like a gift from above.
And sometimes I think about how bad is the pain,
When the person you love does not love the same.
Then I recall yet again what I did to your heart,
I wonder if it would be best, if I just chose to depart.
I get so beyond torn when I try to decide
Because no matter what, I won't leave your side.
Sometimes it just hurts too much, I have to write it out,
It comes it waves and I'm sorry for my doubt.
I'm sorry for the way my emotions turn and twist,
I never want you to have to deal with this.
I'm such a mess and I want to tell you all that I feel,
But I fear if I do, you will leave, and my nightmare will be real.
Oh my oh goodness me this has turned into a mess,
I can't form my words even when I try my best.
I'm sorry if this isn't clear, doesn't help, or bring peace,
I have no one to talk to, it just sits and festers, this is my release.