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Feb 2020
I am breathing the same air just like everyone else but am I still alive?
The amount of stress that this life brings to me is just like an avalanche,it keeps on falling down with no plans of slowing down.
I am living on the same planet just like everyone else but am I still alive?
The level of anxiety that I have cannot be measured, it looks like a never ending flow of water down the stream
I am laughing,smiling,cracking up some corny *** jokes,but am I still alive?
Every morning I wake up, I need to put my happy mask on so they can't see the pain, the agony that I am going through.
But once the day is done, I am all alone in my room, dealing with my own demons, fighting this death-in my-head situation.
I have a job and have a decent amount of salary and was able to put up some food on the table just like everyone else but am I still alive?
I wake up early,put on some nice semi-formal clothes, wear some branded shoes, put on some bling but am I still alive?
I have been eaten alive by the demons inside my head, the thoughts of being dead still lingers in my brain each and every day.
The thoughts of me being a burden to the people that I love in my life still stays for a very long time now.
Maybe I'm alive,maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm already dead, maybe I'm just a spirit that's living in someone else's life.
Maybe I deserve to be here,maybe I'm not
Maybe I deserve to exist or maybe everything will be alright if I disappear,forever.
Maybe I am alive who is just waiting that death comes sooner so that he could take me with him.
Written by
Michael  21/M/MNL
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