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Feb 2020
I woke up,
took my pill,
waited for the
danm to break
allowing my memories
to flow like a flood
out the gate.

Slowly I am taken back
in time, as my head floods
with medicated numbness,
my pain still sets beside me
though I don’t care anymore.

The pain pitched me
one more time, reminding
me its still there.

Medicated induced memories,
these pills are reminding me.

No choice but to let it be,
ride the waves of diluted
pain. Wash it down with
suffering and strife allow
the pain to scream and cry.

Β© 2020 By Amanda Shelton
I am on pain management and everytime I take my pain pills I end up remembering my past in vivid images and sound. As if I am reliving my life day by day. I have a very vivid memory because I have savant syndrome causing me to have a super ability to recall my experiences. I can also draw from memory every tiny detail and structure. I don't know why I have this ability but I do know how I got it. I was born with Autism and a very high IQ. My brain is completely different than an average persons brain. My doctor's told me I have a complex and complicated brain. I also have the rarest blood type in the world, only 75 people have been reported to have the same blood type as I. I have been through testing as well as donated my blood, hair, and nails to clinics for studies to help save lives. I am pretty sure my blood has saved many people who needed transfusions. I give in private so people can't look for me. My mom helped me setup a plan when I first found out. My health care is really good too because of my rare health conditions. Though, one down side my blood cells doesn't have antibiotic properties so I can't get blood from other types besides my own. Also, I have different reactions to medication and my environment. Imagine going to the doctor and they take you into a private room to tell you you have the rarest blood type in the world and they want you to donate your blood and other things so scientists can study it. That happened to me at the age of 13 after I got very sick and I needed to get help. I almost died a year later when my gallbladder exploded. By the time I got to the hospital I was pronounced died so I had no time to get blood transfusion. I still came back 30 minutes later while I was being transferred to a private room. They were preparing my body so my family could say goodbye. I feel bad for the nurse who saw me **** up and yell, you idiot I don't want to go back. I was yelling at God for forcing me back into my life. I didn't want to come back. I felt like I was at home and my loved ones who passed away were there too. I got to see heaven and the opening to hell. I was taken to heaven through a bright light and I was greeted by family members and friends. I met one of the patients who passed away in the other room. I ended up going to her husband to tell him she was okay and she wanted him to keep living his life. He was very grateful for my message. I am still friends with him and his family. Also, I made plans to have tea with her on the beach in heaven when we meet again. My mom told me I should write a book and share my experience with the world. Maybe someday I will.
Amanda Shelton
Written by
Amanda Shelton  37/F/Bakersfield California
(37/F/Bakersfield California)   
47
   Fawn
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