my feelings don’t stop
they run and run like water from the faucet
into the bath you prepared for us
and by the time you and I get in the tub
it overflows
lavender scented bubbles coating the white tiles of your floor
I try to clean it up but the ground just gets sticky
and I feel your eyes
bore into the back of my head
as I mop up the leftover bath salts with your faded, yellow towel

another kind act of yours ruined by my worries

i can feel your hand loosening its grip around mine
as we step onto the subway platform
and you don’t grab at my waist
while I make oatmeal in your kitchen
like you used to
back when my bruises were endearing
and I was light and new

but my emotions peek through the cracks
that past lovers left inside of me
the hole my father made in my heart
when I was 8 years old
occasionally shows itself when you ask why
I can no longer drink orange juice in the morning

and when the sun makes it way through the curtains
and shines onto my body
it’s easy to see all the pieces broken inside of me
and suddenly i'm not the dream you thought I was