No! I aint  going back.
I aint wishing to go back!
Back again to the same old routine.
The same insecure questions.
hanging in the air, behind your back.
When I hug you,they appear.
They stare at me and laugh at my miserable state.
My mind is playing games with me
and I have lost,badly.
Binge eating.Binge drinking.
Unconsciously.
Consciously.
Making yourself believe in the false
perception.
A rainbow,made of candy sprinkles and marsh mellows.
Sweet weddings and cuddly children.
But life has to be an un-idealistic *****.
A sweet thing endowed on us.
A sweet candy handed to us by the shopkeeper.
a kind in kind that he gives to get away
from guilt and monotony.
A smile makes his day.
A penny gone though.
*
I aint going back.
To the TV watching.
to the hogging
and to the lousy cold love-making.
I aint going back to conversations that bear no fruit.
Conversations filled with hormonal rushes,
head rushes,motherly and fatherly feelings,
orderly arguments.
Angered moments,
angered and tempered to them limit.
fists, bumps,scratches.
Love drowned down with beer
smoked away in a puff.
I don't want to go back!
No way! No sir.
I would rather wait for the bus.
May be walk for miles myself.
I like to walk anyways.