Watching
Looking
Judging me
Words
They don't get to me
Because I know
They are all true
I am ugly
I am useless
I am a waste of space
I don't deserve to live
No, words don't hurt me
But the stares
Silently judging
What is wrong
With me
I am so messed up
I deserve pain
I deserve judgment
I deserve the creeping feeling
Of being watched
My mind tells me things
Horrible things
"The knife is right there"
"One more cut"
"A bit deeper"
Repeat
Mind on loop
I can't escape
From my own head
The stares
Feed my anxiety
Feed my mind
Makes me think
Of all the bad
About how I am so messed up
About how I don't matter
About how I will be easily forgotten
Words
Don't
Hurt
But my mind
Knows all of my own buttons
To press
I want to cry but
I feel empty
Hollow
A shell of myself
Yet somehow
I still feel the pain
No matter how numb I feel
The pain is there
And the creeping
crawling feeling
of all of those stares
burning a hole straight through me