Why is it always such a battle to keep the plans we make?

We planned a night of wild *** till we both ached- you changed your mind.

Told me you didn't feel like it. You were gone after one go.

A momentary translucence- made in the heat of a minute.

We planned a late sleep in- an afternoon together.

Beautiful brunch, beautiful walk, no attention paid to clocks.

Out of the blue, at noon, you told me brunch wasn't possible.

You said you would go home soon.

My heart skipped a beat but I played along because it was Mother's Day.

Your mom would be home sooner than expected.

Every time I try to swerve our plans back on course- you opt out.

You say

'yes'

in the heat of a moment.

Transient.

Unreliable.

(I hate using these words to describe you).

One day the plans we've made to be together- might you opt out? How can I trust anything you say in passion?

Sure you say 'no, I would never,'

but

you said 'yes, we'll spend the afternoon together. get brunch.'

you said 'I want you till we both ache. All night. Cover me.'

you said, 'I want you for a very long time. Perhaps forever. I would never leave you.'

It doesn't feel like a lie-
It feels like you have no intention to stick to anything without a battle.

Without my burning myself on anger and hurt like I'm forcing you to something against your will.

I won't believe you about our distant future love

until I can believe you about tomorrow.