I spent so much purpose
determined, without knowing
perhaps instinctive
surely stubborn
but not blind

Being the center

because I could
bring direction
to the spin

for a while

But then my time had passed
or so I thought when I felt
the ground dissolving
without forewarning
turning solid into
nothing
and knowing
into uncertainty

leaving me an empty shell
or so I thought until I learned
that my time had actually come
but I was unprepared

I reached out for you
too late without forewarning
in ways unrecognizable to you
and hopelessly misguided by me

but you looked away
because of who
I had become
and who you wanted
to be after all you
saw of me

And yet you stayed
near but not close
present but not here
just out of reach
by either one

So now I struggle
determined, and well knowing
against my nature
surely stubborn
but not blind

I feel the warmth
of your fingertips
and soon I'll grasp
your hands

if you keep mine
in yours I will find
some way to make
these battered legs
take me to you