Apples

I wonder if you've noticed.

If you haven't

I would like to share with you

A little something:

I grew up with this idea

That someday I would grow up,

Have a girlfriend and get married.

I knew that I wanted children,

That I wanted a dog,

That we'd grow old in my house

And out in the driveway I'd have a Lambo

(I know, crazy, right?)

What I didn't know

Was how I was going to get there.

I didn't know that it wasn't that easy

And that, more than once,

I'd be hit with disappointment.

Not disappointed because I fell in love

And had my heart broken

(More than just a several amount of times)

But because I stepped out

Further and further from this utopia

I had set out for myself.

I learned, more than once,

That everyone had their own little story,

Everyone had their own little blueprint,

And not everyone was interested

In what I wanted.

I heard:

It's too early for you to think of those things,

Enjoy life and use all your energy on other things.

And I did.

I started drawing, started playing soccer,

I started writing poetry, and put music to my poems.

I started playing the guitar, I started singing,

I started to use my energy on "other things."

But the more I think about it

And the more I read about it

I was really just using those things

For my own story.

And that's the issue you should know about me

That's my so called "problem"

And the reason why you probably won't like me.

I lose sight of what's in front of me,

Chasing after what's ahead of me.

I forget the present and focus on the future,

And I fail to realize that you too

Have had to have

Some getting used to.

I don't know the secret

To a perfect relationship

Nor do I think I, as a person, am close to perfect.

And I know that you're not,

And I know you have your own faults and wants,

Your own needs,

And we're all a little selfish from time to time.

But here's the secret,

Here's the kicker,

The catch to my whole speech here:

I have tried to toss

All of my personal feelings aside,

I have tried to put my plans on hold

And fix myself onto the ground.

I've learned that that's how things often go

And it's not that I'm giving up on my plans

I just know that I want to be a part

Of your plans, and you of mine

Because I know that my plans

Could intertwine into your plans

And yours into mine

(That's what I hope anyway)

And if your plans and mine

All become one

Then I will have changed my blueprint,

And I will know the map.

I won't know the ending,

But I will know,

When I get there,

That I tried -

And for the first time,

In a long time,

I didn't give up.

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