I roll into the restaurant
Late afternoon.
I lay out forks and knives
(I don't mess with spoons).

When I'm carrying your plates
Rock to this tune
Cause I'm bringing this check
To your party real soon.

I walk into the kitchen
And I grab your food.
I'll give you lots of ketchup
If I'm in the mood.

There's a dude
At the bar
Who's asking for my digits.
When I bring him his drink
You know I'm gonna spit in it!

No, you can't take me home.
You can't get with this.
Let's  just play my favorite game
Called "just the tip"!

Dropped your napkin?
I'll get you another.
You want some chicken wings?
I got your back, my brother!
But you gotta let me know about allergies
(Cause I almost killed a guy last week
With sesame seeds).

My boss is sittin it
In the office
Sipping coffee.
When I leave here ill take a ***
Of tax-free money.

Don't get time off,
Not a cigarette break.
I can barely pay the rent
With the dough that I make.

I am your waitress.
Take a good look at me
This is not what I had planned
For my life at twenty-three
But I'll do this for now
'Til my career shoots to the moon
But til then,

Thanks so much,
And come again soon!