I never know how far I'm supposed to
run to satisfy you
to placate you
to silence you.

I never know how hard I'm supposed to
sweat to drown out your words
and keep the venom from pouring through
the cracks in my heart too wide to
cement.

I never know if I can bleed you out of
my system through the broken skin
of my calluses torn off by my own
desperation.

-trj