It's been five years now.
Five years flew by,
five years into thin air,
five years forever gone.

I cannot remember a time,
where I felt more anger,
hatred,
disgust.

I carry these emotions still with me to this very day,
in hope that I will someday wake up,
and no longer feel them.

Sometimes I find myself waking in the night,
calling your name,
reaching out for you,
only to feel cold sheets on the other side.

I write this to you now,
not because I am lonely,
not because I am desperate,
but because I love you.

No matter how much hatred I feel,
I always will love you.