if there is any truth to
time healing all things
then how many years does it take to coagulate this pain and
dry it up with a scar there to remain so
I will have forgiven but
never forgotten
what it was that happened?

It's been hundreds of hours and
millions of minutes and
countless seconds since but
regardless it's still vivid

the colors are brighter
the sounds louder
the struggle longer and
the guilt greater

there were long stretches where
I completely forgot
I put a band aid over it that
matched my skin and
it blended in so well
until the edges start to
turn red from the
open wound beneath
that flows steadily and
it all comes flooding back to me
a plague upon my memory

maybe at one point
this sore was getting better but
like a little kid I picked at the scab and
any progress that was made
was all lost and
I'm right back where I started with ****** elbows and
scraped knees
just
remembering
remembering
remembering

so I can't wait for this
blister to birth me a scar
it will be a defect on my actions and
a blemish that drives my motions
flaws hurt but they show the world why sometimes beauty comes as a slash across your entire life and

I find it attractive