I wish I could scream.
But I can’t cry, I never could.
Or maybe that’s a lie, but not about this, never about this.
If I can’t cry I want you to make me tears.
To feel the artificiality become something real
Indistinguishable from my body, I scream in the rain and that makes it all true
Makes it so much more real.
In a way that makes the church bells pealing down the empty alleyways behind my ears seem like my conscience.
Pounding and ringing ringing ringing.
I will scream into the bells until I can cry
Softly to myself like any normal person
About things I can’t change.