I haven't slept.

What am I waiting for?

Death in my lungs

Carcinogens.

No it's not that,

I'm waiting till my need overcomes my fear

of sleeping.

Till my thoughts of her are engulfed

by thoughts of you.

Till my blood overruns

and spills into the street.

When my wrist heals

thanks to protein

extracted  from meat.

I need sleep,

but I'm afraid of dying.

Not the flying but the landing.

because it's  really crashing.

Waking

up like nothing happened.

But it did.

I am exhausted

Tell me to go to sleep

So I may hold you

while I shake and weep.

I am dying in here

decaying

in my

thoughts.

I

need to forgive

myself