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Blue Notebook

Stumbling through the streets of Mexico

Savio

At the ripe age of 20

Life

Dancing nudely in front of his jewel eyes

It is 3am

and the latino barking k-9's are loud

loud and beautiful

like thinking you were dead

but you are woken by a train

and you touch the bridge of your nose

you touch the cheekbones

beneath your face

and you sigh in relief

that you are not dead:

The leaves are green

The grass too

Poison Ivy and Dandelions

Strawberries

 

Savio

Stumbling through Mexico

Wearing an old ***** flannel

a few buttons missing

Examining the streets

for cigarette butts

To unravel

To squeeze the brown tobacco

into his palm

for later

when he has the chance

the consciousness to buy rolling papers

 

Savio

bottle of cheap whiskey in his back pocket

holding an imaginary rifle

firing at the pigeons

at Cadillacs

that care freed on by

 

He had been at a bar

He was born in a Hospital

He liked to drink on top of buildings

He has a father who is dead

 

Savio

Stopping at a church that smelled of coffee

Music played

It was soft

Sad

Like a woman kissing you good-bye

Yet you try to recall the feeling of her lips

and cannot

He leaned his dark curly hair against the bricks that vibrated smoothly

from the violins

from the piano that over took the room

That washed away the hardwood floor

That tapped Death on the shoulder

That stopped the rain

That made you stand still

to make sure

you are not dead

And the Violin wakes you up

and it is Fall

Now Winter

Now you are with your mother

Now you are

Old

and you look around and notice that

The music has stopped playing

and the Trees

look a little wet

look a little

smaller

than they used to be

 

Savio

Woke up to his whiskey bottle shattering underneath him

Saw the Sun

Saw that the Church was empty

Saw that the door was open

Saw that

He was hungry

Thirsty

 

Inside there was nothing

Not even a Cross

Not even an Alter

Nor a candle

did flicker

 

There was nothing on the walls

The stained glass windows were covered by sheets of metal

The hardwood floor

sank a little

He walked to the back room

An empty room

Not even a window

 

So he slept

and did not dream

His father taught him that Sleep Dreams were useless

when Savio woke

it was cold

Everything seemed very still

The walls holding their breaths

The Ceiling calm

The hardwood floor quiet not creaking

 

He opened the front doors

to see that it was Night

and that there were no Headlights

no Taillights

So he stumbled to the liquor store

Holding a Blue Notebook

That he used to

Write down the dreams he wanted to have

The Dreams

he was not allowed to have

 

At the liquor store

he bought wine

walked back to the abandoned church

and read to himself a dream he never had

but would like to have:

“I am home, a child, sitting or standing at a stream, it is warm, I am alone, but I am at home, Yet, I know that I will not be at this stream for ever.”

 

He closed his blue notebook

looking up he saw that the church was lit up

and music was

falling out of it

seeping through the wood like sap

The smell of coffee

the smell of cooking meat

 

Yet when he opens the door

it is empty

it is gray

it is tinted sad

And his father is there

peeling off the sheets of metal covering the stained glass

 

And Savio wakes up

Turns to his Blue Notebook.

Request permission to use this poem
Written by
savio
American
Published
Apr 27, 2013
Lines·Words
131·623
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