I didn't like her as soon as I met her. She'd known you an hour, and said your name wrong. But she was pretty and little, and blonde. You smiled, and charmed, and I rolled my eyes.
For Christ sake.
While you were out for an hour or two, I knocked on M's door with a bottle of Sprite from the vending machine downstairs.
Let's toast.
I unscrewed the lid and she uncorked the bottle. She didn't ask why, just nodded and agreed.
**** yes.
Fizz, fizz. Glug, glug.
There's a mug in my hand, and I'm drinking it up. Tastes like sweet soda, not at all like wine. We're sitting in silence, when I start telling M I don't mind, really I don't.
At least you're over him.
She pours, and I swallow, the bubbles pop in my mouth.
I hear you come home, little blondie in tow.
Have a nice night?
I ask loudly, standing too close. You're toeing your shoes off, and I realize we're alone in your room.
Go for it!
The wine whispers, urging me on.
Can I help you? I'm trying to change.
I want to do something, but what? I'm scared you'll smell the sugary alcohol on my breath, and dismiss whatever I do as a buzzed regret. But I wouldn't regret it, what I see in my head. I would go to you. I'd kiss you and kiss you, till the wine wears off, and my lips are red and a little bit raw.