I spend many hours away from you,
breathing deep flavored tobacco
amidst a sea of humorous conversations.
-  The ones I always wanted with you  -
I admit I am guilty of neglect.
But to be honest,
I seek you out in surrounding faces.
Maybe there I will find the carelessness
you paraded as youthful exuberance.
And maybe then, I won't know them well enough
to understand how destructive their actions
truly are.
Or maybe I will just pretend I don't notice this time...
Because to be honest with you,
in all of our space,
I never truly stop thinking of you.