with shovel in hand,
I go to the back of the barn.
earth broken, I begin digging.
My heel driving into the shovel,
and tossing the remnants over my head.
As the anger subsides to a calmer demeanor,
I take a second to breathe.

sitting next to a tree fronting the purple and blue sky with scattered stars
he stares at me, not with sadness or pity,
but of curiosity.
    What are you doing?
i ignore the cat and keep digging..
teeth tight against each other,
i dig until my arms are weak and
i can't see straight-- until my body trembles
    
Why? why do you continue to do this?
  there is nothing down there for you.

looking down at my shovel, i pause and with a heavy breath;
   There's nothing here for me anymore,
   i gave this life a chance,
   i found love-- i had dreams and i had life
   i can't bare the disappointment anymore.
   i'm done here
   nothing satisfies me here
   nothing

with hopeful intentions;
There's so much more to life than what you see before your eyes my friend

with a scowl, i look up
     My time here is done, there's nothing more that i can do, i've given them everything i have  
     and i've gained nothing but misery, and hopelessness--
     there's no sun to my moon,
     my path ceases as dawn rises
     i won't be a victim to life's cruel taunts anymore

a tear runs down the cat's soft face as he pities the stranger,
i begin digging again

with a brave intent, the cat speaks out of pure compassion;
I'm sorry you feel that way
if you let me hel---
  
with a swift movement, the digging ceases and    
the shovel is thrown at the cat with lethal intent

terrified and frantic, the cat flees for his life.
after a far enough distance where the cat feels a brief sense of security,
the cat glances over his shoulder one last time with concern and worry,
only to see a black silhouette staring at the ground with a glistening speck falling from his face growing smaller as he continues to run.

the cat went back the next morning--
no one was there, just the shovel where it had landed the night before,
and a hole dug so deep, no light could find the end.