Aching, waiting, listening for a sign
That all these feelings I try to hide
Actually have a coherent meaning
That they are not all just nonsense
Something I should just push aside
Something I should simply dismiss
Why do they come and go so much
Like guests who merely visit and leave
Never knowing when they'll return
When they'll return to confuse me
Make me second guess my choices
Make me feel out of control and lost
Make me wonder who I really am
Make me wish I knew what to do
These feelings are sometimes dormant
But they return at vulnerable times
Like late in the middle of the night
When I wake up in the darkness
Not knowing exactly what is real
Not knowing exactly what is fake
They come to me then when I'm weak
Take hold of me and will not let go
Make me feel completely lost
And completely confined in the dark
Until I'm able to drift into a quiet sleep
Away from the worries and wonders