at half past midnight i lay in bed and rewind.
i rewind back to this moment or that moment. and i change it.
turn something into nothing, molehills into mountains, regrets into-

i love you.

into-

it's only you.

into-

please don’t go.

and i imagine us a thousand different ways. imagine a thousand different lives for myself. and i’ll go round and round until you are someone else and i am someone else. and the people in this new world know nothing about heartbreaks or hurt or goodbyes or good riddance or rain or regrets. but they are that almost us. they are that perfect, shining, beautiful us that never was.

*that us that i lay in bed and dream about before i fall asleep.