There is no light in your eyes
and my arms are crossed tight against my
mid-section,
holding me together as I still slowly
crumble.

I am becoming my own epidemic -
spreading quickly
and I can't stop
myself.

You read it to me, once,
in a tarot deck.
The fool, inverted,
the hanged man surrendering, and
death –
even then, there was no light in your eyes.

But, I can feel the shaking, while swallowing
medication from a silver spoon
split through the middle,
breaking me in half
even with arms crossed over my middle
to keep me
from shaking apart.