Sometimes waking up feels like going to bed to me
It's because I can't tell the difference between things anymore
Or it's because there's nothing left to do
It could also quite possibly be the actuality of my waning grip on reality
Do you feel real?

I'm just at an utter loss for words
And rightfully unsure in regards to how to go about fixing that
What does one do when their brain overflows but their lips never speak?
How does one go about translating their thoughts into actual words?
Why do I feel like I don't have any solid thoughts anymore?
Where has my mind been?
Where can I find it?
I want it back
I want my creativity back
My ability to access the deeper crevices of my mind
My ability to write about any possible thing that pops into my head
My feelings
My thoughts, my thoughts, my thoughts
Who am I? Who should I be?
Maybe no one
Maybe no one

Sometimes waking up is really difficult for me
Actually, most of the time it is
It's because I stay up too late
Or it's because I feel so different in the morning than I do in the wee hours of the night
It could also quite possibly be the actuality of my waning grip on reality
Do you feel real?

I keep feeling like a programmed robot
But sometimes I also feel really happy
It's like at times I'm inside of my body and other times I'm outside of it
What does one do when they don't feel in control of their lives?
How does one go about dealing with their own apathy?
Why do I feel so out of place but so oddly content?
Where has my mind been?
Where can I find it?
I want some stability in my life
I want to get rid of my delirium
My uneasiness
My confusion
My apathy, my apathy, my apathy
Who am I? Who should I be?
Maybe no one
Maybe no one

Some days I wake up with an odd, unexpected burst of motivation
These are the days I feel hopeful and resolute
But it all disappears within a couple of days
It's because I lost stability in my life a long time ago
Or it's because I don't know how to hold onto anything anymore
It could also quite possibly be the actuality of my waning grip on reality
Do you feel real?

I'm constantly disappointed in myself
For multiple reasons actually
Why is it so hard for me to do things that most people find easy and routine?
What is it that so greatly and definitely sets me apart from my peers?
How do I go about fulfilling my deepest desires?
Where has my mind been?
Where can I find it?
I want to be able to be proud of myself for more than just two days at a time
I want some permanence integrated back into my life
My passion
My purpose
My life, my life, my life
Who am I? Who should I be?
Maybe no one
Maybe no one

Some days are far worse than most
It's because I am able to overlook a lot of things & keep going but it gets to be too much
Or it's because I have acted sane for too long and just lose it
It could also quite possibly be the actuality of my waning grip on reality
Do you feel real?

I can't stand it on the days I do lose it
It's like for 5 or so solid days I can be so content and upbeat and then it all comes back and slaps me in the face, saying "Ha see! You're not as strong as you thought you were."
It's extremely frustrating and ultimately discouraging
Why am I beset with soothing waves of bliss and then destructive tidal waves of searing sadness and exasperation?
What is it that causes me to lose sight of all I've worked so diligently for?
How do I go about controlling these breakdowns that plaque me too frequently?
Where has my mind been?
Where can I find it?
I want it back
I want a life without the rigid limitations that others have always set for me
I want a life without periods in which I don't have to lock myself in my room and forget the world for days at a time
I just want some ******* stability
And I want some answers