I know what these hands are capable of

Seen it-

Felt it-

I know the depths of their strength

I’ve always looked at them as something fragile

Always giving- never taking

Gentle and

Always there to give a hand

But the anger inside

Can transform them

Create them into something distant

Something I promised to leave behind

Yet adrenaline is its own drug

Spreading, leaving a burning path in my veins

Eyesight sharper

Breathing harder

A bubble from the past

   I just wish you weren’t the one who’s going to pop it

   Because

  This anger isn’t your entirely your fault                              

Yet you’re going to be the one who feels it all

As it finds an escape

A release

From hatred, pain, and loyalty

….I can’t do it

What I’ve done so many times before

I promised to never go back to that dark place

Never give in, prove them wrong

That you can forgive

Your heart isn’t gone

But….

It’s getting harder to walk away

A war between my body and mind

I know what kind of person I am

Never would I have thought I’d stoop so low

Lose my dignity

All because I can’t stop your words

From slithering their way into my ears

Crawling in and under my skin

You want it

You live for it

Drama

It seeps out of you

Rolls through your eyes

With strong anticipation

I swear the walls cave when you walk down the halls

Leaving proof your words are destructive

Your presence unsettling

Ill grint my teeth for now

Bite my check to stop my quick tongue

Cause these hands are what I make of them

These hands won’t be the cause of hurting

These hands are mine

And I chose

To walk away