I feel calmest kissing strangers,
gently edging their head closer to mine,
tongue crashing against their lips
like full tides against a shore
and hand on their thigh.
I feel safest popping pills,
knowing the way my head will feel like
a balloon that has been let go.
I feel free when the silly boys
pull a ****** on and look at me like I am holy
while they *** inside of the cosmos between my legs.
I'd rather be reckless than restless,
I'd rather be full of the wrong things than empty.

They say nothing last forever
Moments scattered between
Tired hellos and haunting goodbyes
Love runs deep till a fatal surrender
Lust runs wild in a sinners heart
But in this moment
So infinite  
I clasped to it with a yearn
Heavier then the loneliness
That weighs my rib cage
The core of it beneath it lays
burns through my veins
So familiar I saw it in your eyes
As you watched the sway of my hips
Dark and clandestine eyes
Like flames seducing my inner *****
You craved a sensation
A night of relentless blues
A gaze so ravished
Daunting souls
Resenting love, longing for redemption
But will you feel the same
When dawn breaks
My body kissed by the morning light
Will you chase the high with me into another sunrise
Our world's spiraling
Into each others arms
Love is our truest desire
Lust in our defective nature
So human in its existence
Falling in love with impeccable fantasies
Blemishes scar you corrupt heart

It's the first kiss I've been waiting for
The slight curve of your bottom lip
Intense brown eyes penetrating deeper then last night's..
Knees weak with such a beautiful smile
And yes it's been awhile
Since I last saw you
But time and distance
Mean nothing in the eyes of a regretful lover
We were just messy sheets
Drawn shades
relying on hips that sway
With every moan that escapes
Riding a breeze
Vibrating through the walls
Through the springs of your mattress
the rickety window of your downstairs neighbors apartment
High off lust
Our canvas exploding with damaged love
Reds, blues
Dripping down the shower walls
As we fog up the mirrors
Reflecting just who we are
Savages to instinct
Bleeding through our relentless attraction
Absolute in its purest form
Craving an inanimate touch
Ravish me baby
Cause it's you
Its only ever been you
Make me a promise
And seal it with a kiss
Never a farewell but always a risk
Leaving my heart here.
I was your perfect distraction
You my downfall
Lonely handsome men are my weakness
But broken men, my destruction
And you are as defeated as they come

Who knew a man could wear the years so well
Still devilishly handsome
I'll never mutter a farewell
I’ll never say I want you
But ill lean in to every scorching touch
I’ll never deny you, but I’ll never accept you
An illusion
You wrap yourself around me
Tonight I’m preoccupied
 those thoughts won't leave my mind
Tonight I’ll use you
For a handful of regretful moments
I’ll whisper the words that have danced on my tongue
And you’ll say them back
Enthusiastic hands, you’re the first to touch
I don’t want feather touches
I need raging red marks
I need to be reminded that you need me
that you want me

Vulnerable, my heart bled out on the table between us
Pulsing out the only life I had left
(Or so I thought)
I told you everything
Every feeling and regret
Your arms barricaded around me
Safety and reassurance
Warmed my soul
You weren’t laughing or discarding my emotions
You listened
And that’s all I could have asked for
I told you  
How I believed in you
How I loved how much you cared for your family
How I knew you’d make it far
A boy turning into a man with a good head on his shoulders
But as I looked at you I only saw regret
Not for not being able to call you mine
But for not believing in myself enough to take a chance
A chance on something that could have been everything I thought it would be
I saw a boy I cared for
A boy I will never stand beside but at an arms distance of friendship
And I realized
I’m okay with that  
And that I have so much to give
So much and I just can’t hold it in, but
All this love and passion I held for you wasn’t…
For you
It was meant for someone else
Someone I haven’t met yet
Someone who’s just as good of a listener as you are
But will give everything I give back and so much more
A boy who will shower me in
Affection and appreciation
I will always care for you
And I will always be here for you
Never doubt that
But I need to start being there for me
Loving myself and feeling worthy
Because I’ve come to realize my best friends boyfriends
Arms are not where I belong

He’s beautiful
Don’t stare to long
He’s charming
He’ll make you fall in love
He dangerous
The kind they say to run from
Cause I fall
Again and
Again
Each time
Deeper
More obsessed
With wanting to be wanted
It’s not the first time
God!
If
Only
It could be the last
I’m tired
So ******* tired
Of dreaming, longing, wanting
Only his kind,
Does this to me
Makes me weak
With just the thought
Of his touch
Perfect kissable lips
But I will never know any of this
Cause me
My heart
Beats a different
Rhythm
Then the rest of them

I could see my breath as I rested my head against your thigh.

It was almost as thick as your cigarette smoke

Which crawled down my throat and burned my nostrils

We couldn’t afford the heat bill, we couldn’t afford anything

But I stopped mentioning that

I remember the first time i did,you got so angry

I watched the defensive walls begin to build

The comments made you feel less than a man

Because you couldn't provide for me

At least not in your mind

It made you feel like your father

I watched the muscles in your neck strain against your skin

Any second now… I thought they’d rip right through

The vein in your temple

Growing bigger as you yelled

Your voice pierced my ears like glass fibers being shoved through them

You told me you knew I was weak

That you knew I couldn’t handle it

You left after that

In a rage of red, leaving destruction

The night seemed cold after that, chilly

Watching the clock I think to how we got here

I didn’thear your footsteps till 4:22

The morning became still

As my heart beat matched your steps

There was no car alarm going off anymore

No hissing from the cat fight in the ally

It was just quiet

I watched the door **** move

You came right in no hesitation

And I knew you felt miserable

I could see it in your eyes as I brushed your tears away

Felt it in you touch as I kissed ‘I’m sorry’ away