It's late, and I'm sad. I've been crying, I've been thinking.
If I just disappeared, who would miss me? Who would notice? Who would try to find me?
I can't determine my death, but fate can.
Unless I tamper with my destiny, and make it what I want it to be.
I could easily **** myself, without pain, or with it.
I want to fall asleep, dream of a perfect world, and never wake up.
I could easily find a knife, or a razor, I could bleed out.
I could overdose on painkillers, because I have them right at my fingertips.
I could drown, or hang myself, or shoot myself.
I could jump off a bridge, or a building.
I could do all of this, and I do consider it, but I could never fulfill it.
The thought of death calms me, my soul wouldn't inhabit the body I have now.
I'd be free, free from reality, and worries.
I wouldn't carry this life on, it would just end.
Who would it effect? Who would finally acknowledge who I am?
People who once hated me, or talked **** about me, would all of a sudden care.
They would say, "what a shame, she was so beautiful."
People lie, they're careless, thinking words don't hurt.
They have no idea what I go through, what I think about, what I want to do.
I couldn't leave my mom, she's holding me back.
I wouldn't live for anyone else.
If I died, I would be remembered, but remembered as a girl who was too weak and broken to live,
too sad to move forward.
People would move on, and I'd be pushed to the back of their minds.
If I could simply die without anyone knowing, I wouldn't be here now.