Dismay
I wanted sweetness, comfort and intimacy
To be soothed and eased
To be held and cossetted
To be your little one
Your pet
Safe again and cherished
Cast down
Deflated
Punished
Degraded
Hopeless
Did you intend that darkness for me?
You have the ability to do me deep hurt
In your offhand positioning
The taste of future abuses
Not even physical force or pain
Twist of your words
Barbed wires you fashion just for me
A series of small cuts
That burn and seep
I felt your power over me
Is that safety?
I contemplated rebellion
I thought about being a brat.
Acting out disappointment and displeasure
Instead, I came to heel
Literally
Ending and beginning with the intimacy of your foot pressing my cheek into cold tiles and the prospect of further violations.