****
if you're having them with someone
who is talking **** about your family
making judgements
telling you that you're conceited
and you never listen

comedians are so cocky
she'll say
with that **** coming out of her mouth voice

and now i'm here
by myself
still listening to her
and she's not even ******* here
why the **** do i do this to myself
wake up
and think
and stay awake last night
and think
had a drink
two, three
then i was like
i'm leaving this bar
this is ******* stupid

becuase the more i drink
the more i feel
like this

is it still the alcohol?
i can't tell the difference anymore
**** her

the opposite of love is indifference
and i remember the signs
"who even cares?"
in an email
and the reason she didn't call me
"it wasn't important"
i'm not important

why do i still care
why am i left here
having these thoughts
by myself
in an isolation
and she's out
living
and forgetting
and not feeling
what i feel

what lesson did she learn
about the bridge she burned

and the tears fall
it's stupid
i can't get out of it

but yes i can
there is hope
but first i gotta write about it
because
i have to write about something
and i have't been able to write about anything
because i'm scared
that i'll open it back up

**** that
i learned my lesson
eat this **** up
and spit it back out
like **** coming out of my mouth
but the opposite of love isn't hate

why am i here again?
why do i feel this way?

take pleasure take pain
but feel okay
tomorrow is a better day