1. The child is petulant The terrible twos Lasted 42 years Then along came the teenage years She was always in tears It’s not that baby Refuses to grow up Doesn’t want to grow up Maybe she’s scared Somebody gave the baby a bottle She seemed fine for awhile Then something erupted inside her Where did that come from? Where is it going? How long before we get there? Are we there yet? How long before we get there? On and on and on The baby never shuts up Blah, blah, blah Then along came the tears Then blah, blah, blah You can hear her even when she isn’t saying anything That’s when you hear her the loudest She doesn’t understand what you mean Are you trying to tell her She’s not good enough? What does a baby know about not being good enough? She only did what comes naturally And signed it with love No one believed her Well you know how kids are Short-term memory And all that She’ll forget about it Sooner or later Maybe then she’ll learn some manners Learn to not speak her truth Learn to pretend Like everyone else You don’t trust her You should trust her She never lied to you She’s so bothersome Why be bothered Shut up Shut up Shut up Would it be better if she said Hush Hush baby Don’t cry, darling I’m here I’ll always be here So hush Don’t cry, baby Baby don’t cry (That works) Go where you want to go, darling I’ll always be there for you (that works even better) 2. Will she ever come out of the shadows? Reminds her of a spooky soap opera The Shadows “The shadows don’t lie” In a Rod Sterling voice She never watched soap operas Except at a Chinese buffet As a captive audience On a barely audible screen Slurping Chinese noodles Almost better than spaghetti Don’t cry, baby Don’t cry It’s just a story A narrative Not necessarily true But true if it’s true Not out of necessity True Forget it She’s crying again She just feels sorry for herself All the time She’ll get over it Babys always do.