men in my family age into monsters
with calloused hands, callous words, and cold shoulders
sometimes i can feel my lungs cloud with the smoke i've been fed from birth
and i just want to let it fill me
i've been keeping carefully in a cage for so long
but sometimes i wish the scream would tear me up
roughen up my polished parts and spit my senses
let me be angry without tears, without guilt
my teeth are too sharp in my mouth, my head is too heavy
let me tear it all to pieces and ruin me
i have tried so hard not to be another monster but god sometimes i want to be
stupid, sick, and angry
if i am made of thorns and silver then let me be sharp and deadly
i am a fire by nature and warm by choice
but hell, do i want to devour
and hell do i want to become