I counted the clock as I watched the small hand slowly tick by
I stared off into space as I watched the weather change from sunny to Grey- blurring my vision as my mind drifted away...
Something in the air told me to be still- listen & wait
but if I'd of known on this day you'd do the unthinkable so intangibly- I well I don't know what I'd of done....
I haven't eaten since you left I hardly slept since I found you gone...
Hard to think as I sit at my dinning table watching out my bay window as children laugh & play.
I heard a dog bark and watched a girl playing with her hula-hoop
I sit as tears run down my face thinking are you eating are you safe?
Why now would you think to leave when everything you wanted is right in front of you?
Is that person you ran to worth the pain your causing me?
What can you be thinking ?
As I sit hear with my elbows on this table, head bent low & my hands in my hair.
I hear a knock & my heart skips a beat, butterflies flutter in the pit of my stomach...
That lil girl with her hula-hoop tapped my window and smiles (I thought it was you)
I smile right back but all I see is you- in my mind I see you with your tiny hands, your wrapped in blankets, leaves of many colors fall down from above as we sat in Elizabeth Park me reading Winnie The Pooh to you.
You at about 2- running with your very first kite saying looky momma look "it fly'ing"...
As you ran you tripped stubbled & fell sadly your kite flew away... I chases it but I couldn't reach it in time.... You look up with tears & it breaks my heart I didn't catch your kite so I cry too and you say to me momma it OK.
I see in my mind you at 4 laughing with your sister - you both hold hand twirling round & round in circles until you fall down giggling all the while.
I wonder where is that smile of yours now?
Where's the laughter & feelings you had way back then?
My tears are overflow- spilling on this dinning table...
I look up and watch the tiny red hand on the clock tick, tick, tick on by, it's the only sound in my house.
Your sisters outside playing with their friends as I sit watching out the window& all I see is the many blended children whom now look all like you- running, laughing, playing...
Being free to be them selves & all I can do is long to have you home for once. No picture is gonna help because you've left me watching, waiting once more, I been here all this time doing what I seem to continuously do which is Watch As Time Flys By! Always Me Ayeshah